PK Day 9 | The Departure: Stepping into the Light

I awoke on Monday to a blanket of snow at SoHum, and the nagging thought that I wasn’t supposed to be here. I banished the thought from my mind and headed downstairs, eager for one last Homa ceremony and yoga class with Rachel before heading home.

Leaning into my Purpose

When I reached the living room, I could tell something was off. Kristin, who had been at the front desk overnight, was still sitting in the living room. Becca, who was now at the front desk, seemed concerned about something, but I didn’t ask her what was happening.

Since Rachel wasn’t in the meditation room, I wandered to the front door and looked outside. There were two sets of footprints in the snow where Becca and Locke had walked from the parking lot.

Members of the new PK cohort started coming downstairs a few minutes later, and Becca apologetically told them that Rachel was trapped at home due to the snow, and Homa and yoga were cancelled.

• A quiet thought flickered through my mind: I’m a yoga teacher, and I have detailed notes from Rachel’s Homa ceremony that I can share with the group; I can help.
• But my imposter syndrome flared up almost immediately: I’m not Rachel, I’m not a SoHum teacher; what am I thinking?
• At the same moment, someone enthusiastically gestured to me: We have a yoga teacher here, Kim can do it!
• I remembered Dr. Lad saying my purpose was to be a yoga teacher: I extinguished my fear and volunteered to step in for Rachel.

Heather, Vance, and Brian joined me for a makeshift Homa ceremony in the meditation room, where they set heartfelt intentions for the week and authentically shared them with each other. I didn’t light the fire, but I spoke about its symbolism and how we honor the sacral chakra and the divine feminine energy on Monday. We invoked our imagination and connected with the energy of offering the feminine herb shatavari to the fire.

Afterward, Vance and Brian joined me for yoga. It was Brian’s first yoga experience(!), and Vance said:

This is why you’re still here; you’re here to teach yoga to us.

I led them through sensory grounding and the SoHum meditation, followed by a gentle, seated version of the seven movements of the spine, and ended with a nidra-inspired savasana. There was a deeper level of meaning when I spoke my “usual” yoga class closing words: “The light in me honors the light in each of you. Namaste. Thank you, Brian and Vance, for joining me this morning.”

Teaching yoga at SoHum, I felt purposefully aligned chills. I don’t have the words to express my deep gratitude to Vance and Brian for enabling me to have that powerful experience. I could have retreated and dimmed my light; instead, they gave me the confidence to step into my purpose and shine like a lighthouse.

Ghee Flashbacks and Breakfast

The high of teaching stayed with me as I walked into the dining room for the Monday morning ritual of melted ghee. I was truly glad to sit this one out! I cheered the group on and reminded them to hold their noses. Once the ghee was gone, we enjoyed the golden oats that Locke had prepared for breakfast. I realized at that moment how much Becca and Locke were shouldering as the skeleton crew keeping SoHum going against the backdrop of the storm.

During breakfast, Vance shared that on Sunday, she had been mysteriously upgraded to a suite for her stay, and today she had figured out why: she had booked the Isis room I was still in. At first, I felt guilty, but she assured me that when she booked her trip, she wanted to stay in the suite but had reluctantly decided to pass on it because of the extra cost. It was a delightful synchronicity that my staying an extra day “unlocked” the suite for her.

The Final Release

The SoHum team began trickling in after breakfast. As Colin worked to clear the front driveway, I turned my attention to packing, knowing my ride was scheduled to arrive in about an hour.

My suitcase wouldn’t close, but I realized I didn’t need to carry the physical weight of my sanctuary home to keep the peace. I left pieces of my comfort behind for others, lightening my load in more ways than one.

I left my “Stress Relief: Easy Origami Flowers” book and paper on top of the coloring books in the living room for future PK participants to enjoy. I wrote in the inside cover:

May your time at SoHum bring the energetic transformation you are seeking. Sending you much love, peace, and healing light.

Namaste, Kim Westrich

P.S. This paper isn’t perfectly square…release the desire for perfection in your folds 🙂

I also gave away:

• To Becca, the burgundy cardigan sweater I’d worn all week
• For Suhanee, my Beloved Yoga “Inner Peace Creates World Peace” tunic
• To Heather, my cozy house slippers

I made one last visit to the kitchen to pick up the tupperware that I’d dropped off 8 days ago. Locke filled it with “non-soupy” kitchari that TSA (hopefully) wouldn’t be tempted to take away, and he topped off my refillable bottle with hydration water. I took one last photo of the kitchen’s origami garden, which now had a “Kim” nameplate in its midst.

The Snowy Descent

The journey down the mountain was a full-circle moment. Because my driver, Jennifer, couldn’t make it up the mountain, Kami – the first person from SoHum to touch my luggage and give me a hug eight days ago – drove me back down through the snow.

The drive was the ultimate “peace protection” integration exercise. Outside, the winding roads were slightly treacherous and white; inside, the conversation was calm and deep. We weren’t fighting the elements; we were peacefully navigating nature’s flow. At the bottom of the mountain, Kami handed my suitcase to Jennifer and gave me a farewell hug, officially releasing me from the SoHum bubble.

Sanctuary in the Real World

Going through TSA at the airport was a sensory collision of real-world static as my luggage was pulled aside for further inspection, and almost every item in my suitcase and carry-on was unpacked and inspected. I stood in the flow of the airport’s friction, but I didn’t let it become my friction.

I calmly reminded myself that the TSA employees were currently working without pay due to the DHS closure, and they were doing their job to keep us all safe by closely inspecting my Ayurvedic herbs and kitchari lunch. I thanked them for their efforts.

Sitting at the gate, I ate my SoHum “non-soupy” kitchari and started a leisurely process of reviewing the hundreds of work emails that had arrived in my inbox during my vacation. For this first pass, I deleted and filed items I could act on without responding, saving the more involved messages for Tuesday, when I would be back in my office. I kept things light and bright, knowing this inbox sweep would help “Future Kim” tomorrow.

Once on the plane, I returned to vacation mode. Mirroring my outbound flight, when I watched Judy Blume’s Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, I watched Forever, the documentary about her life. It felt like a perfect bookend: I had started the trip revisiting the questions of my youth and ended it by affirming the woman I have become – someone committed to finding and sharing her voice.

Riding home in an Uber, I pulled up Facebook and saw that during my flight, SoHum had posted the origami heart video I filmed with Sandy and Phillip. I watched it with curiosity, feeling simultaneously like the narrator in the video who was folding a paper heart, and like a casual observer seeing it for the first time through a “beginner’s mind” lens. I smiled, remembering Dr. Lad’s words on Thursday, “Observe the observer in the act of observation.”

It was Monday, February 23; I had recorded the video nearly a week before, on Tuesday, February 17. I was amazed at how much I’d grown and released in that week.

I arrived home and hugged my husband and son. My home felt peaceful. I felt peaceful. I don’t even remember the walk from the Uber to my front door. It’s as if the transition happened in a blur of grace. I simply arrived – home to my husband and son, home to a space that felt as quiet as the mountain. I didn’t feel like I needed a vacation from my vacation. I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.

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In my final post: The Integration, one month later. How I’ve continued to protect my peace and hold on to that post-vacation glow outside the SoHum bubble.

Read Part 13: PK Integration | Beyond the SoHum Bubble: A New Way of Being

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