PK Day 4 | Care, but Don’t Carry: The Release

If the first three days of Panchakarma were about releasing emotional and spiritual weight, Day 4 was the mid-week peak, where the mental and physical toxins followed suit. By transitioning fully into the healing energy of SoHum and the depth of care provided by this incredible team, I had already softened my internal landscape. I was primed for what was to come.

Intuition

I began the day by listening to a quiet, insistent inner voice. I skipped the morning Homa and yoga – not to sleep in, but because my intuition told me to stay in my room. I watched the beauty of the pink sunrise from my balcony, a moment of stillness that felt like a quiet preparation.

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My intuition was right: my son called, frustrated and angry, needing help, but blaming me. In the past, his energy might have pulled me into a reactive spiral. Instead, I stayed available to help him with a grounded, non-reactive presence. However, the exchange left me feeling drained and sad.

Meditative Origami

To soothe myself, I ventured beyond the origami heart, exploring the “Easy Origami Flowers” book I had brought with me. I made some origami roses and tucked them into my bag for Becca, Suhanee, and others who had already received a heart from me.

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At breakfast, my friends validated my feelings about the exchange with my son, and Priya shared helpful advice from her own experiences as a mom. I sank into the supportive care of Angela and Audrey for Total Body Serenity, further softening the “ama” (toxins) we had been loosening all week.

The Mental Shifts

When I shared the morning’s exchange with Suhanee during our check-in, she offered two pieces of wisdom that didn’t just land – they stayed. Because I had already lowered my emotional barriers, I was able to make the mental shift and truly integrate her words.

We often hear good advice that quickly slips away, but her advice is still with me weeks later:

1. The Energetic Bubble: Suhanee suggested visualizing an energetic bubble to keep out negative energy. For an empath, this is transformative. It allows me to lower the solid, heavy walls I often build for protection, making me more available to people while ensuring I don’t absorb their chaos.
2. “Care, but don’t carry”: This has become my mantra. I can deeply care for my family, friends, clients, and colleagues without taking on their burdens as my own. I can witness and support them, the way my PK family did for me at breakfast, without allowing their stress to breach my bubble.

Suhanee also shared the details of the castor oil protocol for the evening: I would take a small dose of castor oil mixed with ginger tea three hours after dinner to help with the physical release of the ama in my body. The effects vary by person; for some, it kicks in within an hour or so of taking it, while for others, it doesn’t kick in until the next morning.

A Token for Wisdom

I downplayed the castor oil in my mind and turned my focus toward my upcoming meeting with Dr. Vasant Lad. A simple origami heart didn’t feel significant enough for his spiritual presence. After a nourishing lunch of cilantro pesto, sushi rice, and root veggies, I spent some time experimenting with flowers, eventually crafting an 8-part “flower of wisdom” for him and a 5-part “spring flower” for Suhanee. I also folded hearts for the Ayurvedic Institute students who would be with him for my consultation.

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The afternoon also brought Netra Basti to my left eye with Rachel, and a tasting party in the living room with Ayurvedic cookies and macadamia milk that I accidentally crashed (thanks for folding me in, Sandy!). I shared my origami heart tutorial with the afternoon guests to make up for my surprise appearance.

Going Slowly

During dinner, Cam offered some wisdom that stuck with me: “If you think you’re going slow, go slower.” I don’t recall the context in which it came up, but I’ve returned to the advice several times since the retreat.

Our group activity in the evening was mantra chanting with Paloma, which created a sacred, aligned atmosphere. I was delighted to learn that Paloma would be at Beloved Yoga in May, where I did my yoga teacher training and regularly practice.

Everything – the sunrise, the call with my son, the day’s treatments, the “Care but don’t carry” mantra – primed me for the castor oil release on Wednesday evening.

To be direct: it was the hardest part of the journey. It was an intense physical process that began at 11:30 pm and continued every 60-90 minutes for eight hours. It demanded every bit of my stamina (and a few pairs of old cotton underwear), but the unburdening of my GI tract mirrored the unburdening of my heart and mind that had already occurred.

Because the emotional and mental “stuff” had already been addressed, the physical toxins had nothing left to cling to.

The Morning After

In the morning, Becca came to my room like an angel, bringing herbs and a breakfast tray to ease the after-effects of the night.

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I felt entirely new. The “stuck” feeling was gone. I had successfully navigated the peak.

I was lighter, unburdened, and ready to meet Dr. Lad, not as someone carrying a heavy load, but as someone who had learned to let it go and leave it behind.

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In my next post: I’ll carry these tokens of wisdom into my consultation with Dr. Vasant Lad and share the wisdom I received from him.

Read part 8: PK Day 5 | Be a Seeker: Soaking Up Wisdom

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